Victor Shamas, Ph.D.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • The Inspiring Playbook
  • Deep Creativity
  • Media
  • TEDx
  • Global Chant
  • Books & CDs
  • Repose
  • AUM Tantra
  • The Pledge
  • PlayHaven
  • Wave1
  • The Chanter's Guide
  • The Way of Play
  • Intuition Study
  • About
  • Inspiring
  • Beatles Video
  • Fountain

TO be a man

11/28/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
I am concerned about the fate of men. Yes, I mean adult males. The gender with which I have identified has had a poor showing of late. On a daily basis, men in positions of power are being “outed” for their boorish sexual and aggressive behavior—mostly but not exclusively directed towards women. When we look carefully at the men who are running our governments, corporations, and religious institutions, we find plenty of despots but precious few leaders. Almost every day in the U.S., a desperate man enters a public place, heavily armed, and opens fire on other members of his community. Men commit 90% of all homicides and 77% of all suicides. They are also three times as likely as women to be murdered and nine times as likely to end up in a State or Federal prison.

Your first reaction to all this might be: Let’s not throw a pity party for men when they have been handed so much power! Because of that power, the fate of men is the fate of our planet. And we must all be concerned when we empower individuals without preparing them properly for the responsibilities that such power entails.

As Abraham Lincoln noted, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Having graded thousands of exams in my life, I can say that the vast majority of men in power would earn a failing grade on this test. Why is that? My sense is that our world lacks a clear sense of what it means to be a man.

How do we define a man? In a time when the question of gender has become far more complex, having a penis or an XY genotype is simply not enough. We now know that gender is a social construct. The clothes we wear, the length and style of our hair, the activities we enjoy, and the ways in which we interact with other men and women, are all shaped by family, community, and culture. We see plenty of evidence every day that women can enjoy and succeed at work and leisure activities that were once considered the exclusive domain of men. And even the role of men in family life has been called into question at a time when one in four children is being raised without a father.

While conventional gender roles crumble and collapse, we are left to wonder: What should a boy know by the time he becomes a man? I feel strongly that manhood is about giving. In the sexual act, a man may give himself to his partner in the most intimate way possible, inserting himself into the one that inspires his love and passion. Yes, men are capable of being receptive, too. Giving and receiving are equally important capabilities, and neither is the exclusive domain of one gender. I just mean that men are biologically and spiritually disposed to give themselves fully—to their lovers, friends, families, and communities.

Albert Einstein said, “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” To me, a man of value is a selfless servant. He understands that power can only be constructive when it is wielded for the benefit of others. At a time when the actions of an individual have global consequences, we have no choice but to redefine success and value in terms of the greater good. In the past, men in power have often operated under the assumption that “he who dies with the most toys wins.” This assumption has never been grounded in truth; now we see how destructive a philosophy it really is. The rules of the game have changed. Our common survival depends on a new conception of manhood: “He who gives himself most freely wins.” A man’s value can only be measured in terms of how he benefits the world.
​
I can only think of one test of manhood that has any significance at this juncture in human history. It is the answer to a single question: Is the world better off because of you? In the past, too many men have failed this test. If humanity has any hope of a future, we must do everything in our power to make sure that every man—and every woman—passes this test with flying colors.

1 Comment
Emma Waner
2/22/2018 03:07:10 pm

what a great article. May I have your permission to copy and send this to some of my friends. We have been talking about this for a while, I have been a student of Shamanic Astrology. and a member of the Shamanic Astrology Mystery School. One of the things that we discuss widely, is the Need to empower our men with some sense of meaning. I have also read Joseph Campbell's works. and feel that men in general have no Heroes or Models to look up to. So whenever I work with teachers or mothers, I try to have them see the role of taking responsibility for their actions, starts In childhood, for all children. So if the parents do not have a value system, and our major religious groups except for hinduism and Buddhism, seem to rudderless. Where will we as a race go, I have had the privilege to have worked in /Africa during the 60's. Had the privilege of participating and observing their puberty initiation rites. And was amazed at what was culturally expected of they young people in becoming part of a working culture. I soon came to the realization that our western culture was quickly becoming rudderless. We need some new archetypes and heroes for our young.

Your article was vey informative and worthy of sharing.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    I want to hear from you! Please share  your questions and comments. And sign up for my newsletter, where I will pass along the insights, ideas, and inspiration that come my way.
    Picture

    Contact me:

    ​Email
    Facebook
    Twitter

    Archives

    November 2022
    August 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    January 2017
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    October 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    May 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • The Inspiring Playbook
  • Deep Creativity
  • Media
  • TEDx
  • Global Chant
  • Books & CDs
  • Repose
  • AUM Tantra
  • The Pledge
  • PlayHaven
  • Wave1
  • The Chanter's Guide
  • The Way of Play
  • Intuition Study
  • About
  • Inspiring
  • Beatles Video
  • Fountain